The Kisses of an Enemy

Mom said about two women, "oh they are all kissy-poo when they see us, but I don't trust what they say behind our backs." That illustrates the kisses of an enemy.

In your business, or personal world, someone may be kissing up to you one minute and then, when you are out of hearing, will say cruel, unkind things about you to others. But how can you discern when you are getting the kisses of an enemy?

If someone is praising you and saying things that show high regard for you, but they are talking a little fast, as if their speech is pre-planned, and not "from the heart" right now - that might be a clue. Of course, some can be very realistic actors.

You may also want to wait and listen whether they insert anything frank and truthful in all their effusive praise and admiration. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:6 "The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend." If all they say sounds like sugar and candy words - beware!

A true friend or employee, or a business associate, wants what is best for you. Therefore, while they may say kind and encouraging things, they will also offer some constructive comments to help you improve. You may wince at some of that but don't close them off.

As this Proverb says, their wounds are meant to help you. Pay attention to these people and you will find that they are frank and honest to your face, but do not go behind your back to tell others juicy, negative gossip about you. This is the kind of friend or business associate you want to have and cultivate. Ask their advice, and thank and respect them, for these are the ones who will help you get ahead in your business, and in your life generally.

It's the puppy-friendly individuals who chatter about how great and wonderful you are, that you want to be wary of - they may be giving you the kisses of an enemy.

They will stab you in the back - hopefully, only figuratively. Although that is bad enough and hurts, whether in your personal life or in your business world.

Yes, it may sting when a co-worker, partner or friend points out mistakes you made (and some will not be as tactful as others), but if their motive is to help you, welcome their comments and advice. Be glad you are not receiving the kisses of an enemy. Even dealing with an angry but honest person is easier in the long run.